PLANNED FREE TIME FILLER:
It even includes a DVD. Perfect smart professional-development-y use of my time, right? RIGHT. Except the below is what *actually* ended up happening.
ACTUAL TIME FILLER:
Peanut butter with the cinnamon and raisins and granola already mixed in (MAGICAL) eaten from the container via spoon. Glitter nail polish. Fluffy television. Short story collections. In other words, screw professional development, bring on the coping mechanisms!
I'm just going to blame it on the dog. In a house, he wasn't barky but in this apartment (which thank god I'm leaving in less than two weeks) he's a nut-case. He's like this tiny Oompa-Loompa, except instead of incessant singing about EVERYTHING, he engages in incessant barking about EVERYTHING. Person enters the building and the sound of a door echoes in the hallway? BARK BARK BARK. Person walks by the apartment building windows. BARK BARK BARK. This would be okay if it weren't for the fact that this apartment a) echoes and b) is situated near a little mini-mart drug traffic corner (yesterday I watched a jolly fellow in a track suit sprint across the street yelling I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP MOTHERFUCKER to another gentleman at the mini-mart). BARK BARK BARK ... BARK. Or maybe nothing at all happens! BARK BARK BARK AT PHANTOM MENACES. The fact that I'm not barking crazy at this point is, I think, a testament to my level of endurance and willingness to say "shut up" a trillion times even when it has proven to do nothing. (I have tried training Neville to shut up on command of "shush" with treats, but he seems to view this more as a "sit and wait for a treat....eat treat.............bark?" situation. Advice or shaking your head at my failure as a trainer is totally okay here.) I can't learn sign language when I'm trying to get the dog to shuuuuut uppppppp because people keep having the audacity to enter my apartment building. Dog should be glad he's got a cute butt because otherwise I'd hate him more often (as it is, he totally melts me when he stops barking and curls up on the couch next to me). I'm sure the neighbors, being unable to view said butt, just hate him.
I will totally get started on that sign language book once I'm moved and in the new cottage with Patrick. Totally. I will. Really.
Sigh. I'm a crazy dog lady now.